Untitled because I have not yet thought of a title
It annoys me that junk food is so overly played out that normal food is now being called “superfood.” It’s regular, non-processed food, people! You run some water over it and take a bite! For crying out loud, we need McDonald’s to promote the salads more or something, just stop this non-enjoyable madness!
I want to ride a unicorn on a rainbow into space where there’s infinite candy and sunny blue skies and puffy cotton candy clouds.
I wonder if there’s an audience for Chef Ramsay shows that consists of college kids trying to learn to make something other than cup noodles.
A benefit to becoming a zombie is that I would be a lot more competitive in the world record for underwater breath-holding.
I want to found a colony on the moon wherein all of the political leaders are scientists. Much funding will be needed, and I have to find something for my little country to sell. Perhaps a wutton of solar power?

I want a doughnut, but I also kind of want a frogurt. But I don’t have time to go east and west. Screw this I want a cookie. But where do I go for a cookie? Does someone have a spare cookie?

Let me eat cake. And another cake. And some boxes of cookies. Throw in some burgers, endless fries, two large sodas, a dozen hotdogs…. Know what? Just turn off the security cameras in the supermarkets for a few hours. I will know what to do. My instincts will guide me. 
Cocks v Cricks
I killed two cockroaches in one night, while sparing countless crickets. Then I thought, why is society not having me do the opposite? Cockroaches look like something classy worn by men in the 1920s, whereas crickets look like creepy nightmarefuel-type stuff. What caused us to be so selective about this annihilation of certain spawns of nature?
cats, man. whatthehell.
I do not get cats. They like to think while inside a box (any box they fit in will do), they make nests of paper one leaves on the floor for them, and they never know what side of the door they want to be on! For the sake of goodness, they are just strange.

Sometimes I think of my antivirus as a corrupt cop, telling me what the hackers are telling it to tell me. It puts me ill-at-ease, because I know it is a possibility.